things i should get done today

or a to-do list that will intimidate me until my Anxiety forces me to complete it/ what i should be doing instead of netflix

i should get out of bed

i should get in the shower

i should get out of the shower

stop picking at my nails

get off of the bathroom floor

i should stop tearing my room apart looking for ants

stop thinking about ants

soothe my skin w lotion and not dwell on how much i hate my body

i should text my friend back

stop refreshing instagram

breathe deeply

i should gently let my coworker know that no, i cannot come in early to work his shift, bc i can hardly picture dragging myself in for my miniscule shift tonight, let alone getting myself dressed.

i should make some attempt at feeding myself something other than coffee

i should grade those tests

i should make my way to the store to buy basics

(i should realise that there’s no way in hell that’s happening today)

takeoutthegarbagedomylaundrycleanmyroommakemybedtextmymumcheckmyemailthinkabout-wherei’mgoingtolivethisfallseewhatbillsareduecallmylandladyaboutascarynoticeforaprevious-ownerishould-

i should do so many things but all i can do is sit in bed, covered in blankets and be overwhelmed. my Anxiety hates putting things off but my Depression is moaning “tomorrow” over and over in a steady monotone stream.

tomorrow it is bc holy shit you guys was today hard. still here. still breathing. 

xo,

bee

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