this week has been rough. it involved laying in bed until the last possible moment before dragging myself to work and plastering a smile on my face. it’s been netflix, weird once-a-day meals and not taking care of myself. before i started noticing my room getting messier (usually a sign that my mood will shortly follow), i had a wonderful sunday. it’s what i want to focus on, so i can remember how to recreate it when the motivation comes.
i swept my house. cleaned the kitchen, bathroom and carried up some outdoor furniture bc the sun was shining. i lit a candle and listened to music (regina spektor! to remind me of her concert). i even baked a cake. it’s a recipe from the sixties from my cookbook-gifting nana.
a dear friend came over and we walked around my city, deciding on a french fry dinner to go w our movie night after (black swan and then an education). we laughed and slipped vodka into our vegan hot chocolate and i felt at peace. i felt content in the day, in my choices for myself.
and then, like magic, like cinderella after midnight, the next morning the good feelings lessened. more and more until here i am, looking back fondly until the next time i can choose those feelings for myself. honestly, i don’t have to wait around until my next day off, or for someone i adore to come visit me. i can incorporate more routines into my every day, soak up as much sunshine as i can. but until then, until i can convince myself that i deserve to feel like that everyday, i’m just going to look at pictures from sunday from my bed
vegan chocolate snacking cake, makes one 13×9 inch cake *
preheat oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit and grease pan
in a medium bowl, stir three cups flour (all purpose), two cups sugar, four tablespoons cocoa powder, one teaspoon sea salt w two teaspoons baking soda. in another bowl, mix two tablespoons vanilla**, two-thirds cup of gmo-free canola oil, two tablespoons white vinegar and two cups cold coffee. combine the two, pour into greased baking pan and bake until set in the middle, about thirty-five minutes. dust w powdered sugar, or make a glaze of powdered sugar, cocoa powder and coffee. best served warm.
*- i halved the recipe for my bundt pan. this cake can also fit into two nine inch round pans as well.
**- almond extract can be (and really should be) substitues for about a quarter or third of the vanilla called for. other recommended add-ins are berries, shredded coconut and vegan chocolate chips.